(English version) (French version)
Welcome to the official website of the Movement for the recognition of the Pizza God Monster.
Pizzafarianism is a rediscovered doctrine. Like any religion of our time, it is modern and open to all. It is educational, a philosophy of life, which does not oblige anyone to adhere to its theories. Everyone is free to choose, or not to choose, whether they follow the right or the wrong path, of error or of truth, of happiness or of eternal suffering...
It was revealed to Man so that everyone, finally aware of the True Truth, could no longer claim on the Day of Reckoning: “I didn’t know"...
The Pizzafarianism religion is older than the great monotheistic faiths as well as other artificial religions such as Pastafarianism. It was forgotten about down the centuries, only to be rediscovered in 2006 by the Greatest Scientific mind of our time, Master Calzone.
Returning from a mission to study the behaviour of the Lagopus lagopus in the small town of Sitka, Alaska, exhausted by fatigue and cold, famished after walking for far too long for a mere mortal, Master Calzone eventually lost consciousness. In a near state of coma The Revelation came him.
At first it was but a spark, but gradually it was transformed into a wood fire and finally it became a formless mass of yellow and red, and therein God appeared to him.
He told him that throughout the years, through various lies and conspiracies of the Church and various secret societies, the truth, discredited as mere superstition, had finally disappeared... A blasphemer had even dared distort evidence of the Beginnings by saying that God was a flying Spaghetti Monster! How was it possible to spout such nonsense and really hope that someone would agree!? How could anyone wander so far from the True Truth and profess such falsehood? The truth was something quite different, and it was time to face the facts: God was a Huge Mystical Regina Pizza, come from the depths of space to terraform our good old planet, so conducive to agriculture and the growing of tomatoes and all manner of fungi.
The world should not live without enlightenment for centuries more. Master Calzone, upon regaining his strength after taking a bite, decided to reveal everything in the book that would be his life's work: the "Book of the True Truth".
Master Calzone spent a great deal of his life writing the work that today is called the "Book of the True Truth".
Through his teaching we discover the path of the Wisdom of Sustenance and especially the reason for how or why there can only be one truth, leaving no room for other doctrines.
Here is a summary:
"From Copernicus to Galileo, from Newton to Einstein, the human race has always been wary of what it did not know. Questioning what it thought to be a universal truth, was frightening. This is why our Cult is still so criticized today. But the evidence is out there and the proof is all around us.
It follows then, that if the main monotheistic God created man in his own image, as his believers would claim, would they then not be able to fly across the sky, and we would never have needed airplanes! Is this the case? No.
Then there are our most fervent detractors, the very people who dared become worshippers of the Pastafarian religion. We have a message for them: "A giant Spaghetti God is ridiculous and inconceivable! How would he breathe? He wouldn’t even have a nose! Now the Pizza God, he is in complete symbiosis with the Earth’s balance. He is both Alpha and Omega, the Carbohydrate and the Lipid, the Protein and the Vitamin! He is the Perfect Being! Also, know this: he shall show no mercy to you on the Day of Reckoning. Get back on the true path and join us!"
To conclude, the final message from the "Book of the True Truth" is for atheists and other impious blasphemers:
"If our God does not exist, PROVE IT! You will then have no choice but to return the evidence..."
Son of a French legionnaire of Albanian birth and a Greek mother, Master Calzone was born June 2, 1954 in the small town of Scido, in southern Italy.
Chosen because, as direct descendant of the first Agaricus bisporus to inhabit our Earth, of noble blood and therefore chosen from the chosen ones, he spent the end of his life writing the "Book of the True Truth" so that peace and eternal happiness may radiate once again in a human race that, in his eyes, had become decadent and superficial.
The Pizza God is worshipped on many occasions during the year.
February 29: The invention of flour.
June 02: The birth of Master Calzone.
July 04: The appearance of the Pizza God and Revelation Day.
July 16: The creation of tomato sauce.
August 14: The onion fair in Thairé d’Aunis.
December 23: Appearance of the first living organism on Earth, the Agaricus bisporus.
Support the Pizzafarianism Cult, or go to Hell!
Republishing coming soon.